About Me

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我相信简单就是快乐,希望能够寻找属于自己的世界。。。

Sunday, October 31, 2010

one day

i need a little getaway
by myself
for a short one
to somewhere nobody knows me
to somewhere without telling anybody
needed a rest so much
but what would i do when im alone
where can i go when im alone
yet im so afraid to be alone
ain't i??
but why would i needed a get away by myself??
i have no f**cking idea
how i wish i could be selfish
i wanted to disappear 
how i wish i never being created
how i wish i am brave enough to leave
because i know nobody cares
because i know i ain't aimportant
because i know nobody would wonder
if i could ever disappear
but what would i do??
and my only hope was my mum
i love her
and i never want her to worried
and yet i have been created
so this is my life although nobody cares
i need to be around wherever my mum does
there could be a day
where i would leave
without telling anybody
without knowing where would i go
i need to set my soul free forever
it was too tight inside
which i couldn't hold it anymore
i need to release
how would i??
because my life has no choice
not say someone force me to be
but at least i know
i needed to be
because i was given by this way
so i know i have the responsibility to do so
and i will do so til the end of it
i will never ever say regret
because this is my life
where i work hard for it
i choose to do it by myself
no matter who i am
no matter what i do
because i do it with a clear conscience
i know im doing it right
i choose to do it for the one i love
dear my only supporter in my life
my dearest mum 
~~**heart**~~

ps: tell myself to be happy because i want you to be happy

Thursday, October 28, 2010

被挑起的痛

有些回忆
深存在心里
再怎么努力
再怎么不理
再怎么不想
其实它早已挥散不去
我们把它称为
癒合不了的伤痕
努力不回想
努力不提起
但一旦被挖掘
眼泪依然在打转
心依然会痛
因为曾经是那么努力
付出真心
没能得到回报没什么
可怕的是当心被糟蹋
心碎得掉落满地
再怎么弥补
伤痕依然清晰可见
爱情是如此
友谊依然如此
当心碎落满地
信心飘散而去
心里再也不会存在着相信
果然发现自私并不应有错
人应为自己而活
只有自己能为自己买得开心
伤痕无法被修补
设它为中心吧
让它成为警惕
好让自己不再犯错
让这伤痕累累的心休息吧
毕竟一切的一切太累人了
 别再触摸那伤痛
让它们安息吧


Tuesday, October 26, 2010

i know what i want

our life is full of emotions
we could be upset for this moment
we could be laughing later on
need not to be confuse
this is your life
you should know what yourself doing
you should know better than anybody else
what would you like in your life
you..your own is the one who should control your life
you need not to explain to everyone else
if a person who know you well
they shouldn't have say anything
they should have stay by your side
to support whatever you wanna do
to assist you to climb up high
i know what i want
i know what i am doing 
i know it best for myself
just stay with me
or wait me at the border
i wish i could have reach there all by myself
no matter how long it takes
no matter how much to pay
i know what's good for me
i know what i want
i want to achieve it by myself
just for once
at least something that i'm clear about
something that im looking for
i just wish to have no regrets in my life
you have your target
and i have mine
so let me do it if we are in the different path
do not stop me
same as i wouldn't stop you
go for yours
and i will go for mine
see you at the border someday!!

Monday, October 25, 2010

我懂得

其实我懂得
懂得我要的幸福
懂得我要的生活
不了解我的人们
无需给您解释
不认识我的人们
无需给您解读
这是我的人生
一切由我来操纵
这就是我
一个独立的我
一个自我的我
因为我懂得
生命由不得我操纵
但命运我可以更改
只要我相信
如果我愿意
但我从不排挤
我也很乐意与您分享我的一切
因为每个人都有属于自己的人生
每个人都有属于自己的故事
分享是我最大的乐趣
也是我快乐的由来
因为秘密只会带来痛苦
因为秘密只会带来更多的伤害
其实快乐可以很简单
只要我把一切看得不再重要
因为最重要的是当下我拥有
这才是最贴切的
不要因为得到快乐而追求
要因为你是你
所以快乐


让我们朝快乐前进吧
其实它就在你我左右
它从未离开过你我

what i stress on

honestly i know my body so well
more than anybody else
i wasn't born to be fat
i use to be skinny
but im not anymore
all my muscle became fats
and i look like auntie in the mirror
im sure it would be worst in real life
it could be over exercise when i grow up
and i stop for like 2 years??
i got slim down before collage
and i gain when im getting use to collage life
mamak food, un healthy food all the time
the worst started when i broke up with my ex
a friend of mine taught me a way
which is to enjoy eating when upset
i thought it works
and it never turns back ever since then 
i tried so many ways to stop
i was a while i slim down a little
but it will never maintain anymore
and i gain weight after i started flying
most of the reason because
the timing we eat is very unstable
and also our sleeping time
my metabolism wasn't good 
because i use to be very picky on food when i was young
so it was very bad til now
coz it was too late to cure
even though i do my very best to eat healthy food
i tried to exercise but it's only helps to firm up
but it isn't what i want
i need to lose the stuburn fats in me
which i build up when i work out in the past
i have asked the professional before
exercise is a good way to lose weight
but we will never know the fats in our body
the healthy way is to lose the fats and not the weight
the weight is not a sign to tell whether you are fat
instead the BMI is the correct way of calculations
although i am not overweight in that
but i am still far away from my expectation
i wanted to turn back
to be the who i look like when i was 18
before meeting him,...before collage
trust me,...never try to eat to cure sadness
it was the NO NO way
it happens to me
so don't make this happen to you
it's time for me to do something
not just exercise
but more than that
help me if you love me
im so damn damn upset, depress and stress about this
i have lost all my confidence honestly
don't lie to me if you treat me as your friend
we know what are fats
you guys just don't wish to hurt me as a friend
sometimes i do use that to be a joke
because i don't want others to embarrase me
i rather im the one who tell others 
i know about that
i don't need you to tell me
and by heart i care
it hurts,....i do care and mind what others said to me
i did try....but it wouldn't stay
some people just don't understand why i refuse to do exercise
not to refuse
is just truth that we need to lose the fats before we firm 
maybe some lighter exercise would help
maybe a little of cardio would helps
but still i prefer some healthy way 
like to more effort on food
until i feel lighter 
so that to go for heavier exercise for body firming

Monday, October 18, 2010

专业的说

专业的医师说
当身边的朋友处在低潮时
最好的方式是
不需要给他很多建议或意见
不需要劝他任何的话
只要陪在他身边
让他觉得在他最低潮的时候
有人支持他
不要让他有一个自我否定的状态就好了

其实我并没有很悲观喔
连专业的医师也这么说喔
所以当我在低潮的时候
我不想听任何劝告是正确的
我只希望有个人陪
让我觉得我不是一个人就好了
或许不一样性格的人
处理事情的方式不一样而已
所以希望朋友们不要再否定我了
真正能够扶持我的是你们的陪伴
还有你们的谅解
谢谢你们陪我走过以往的低潮
我会继续努力
尽力做好自己的
加油!!

Saturday, October 16, 2010

感情专一的人


突然发现了一个sharing的网站,好奇心作怪开了这篇文章,读着读着却觉得很像我的个性。却不是为了说自己是一个很专一的人,只是想跟大家分享这篇文章而已。也许你也会发现自己平常的生活习惯也可以是某种性格的象征喔!

1、自己走路會很快
2、喜歡黑夜,習慣晚睡
3、隱藏心事,喜歡一個人流淚
4、喜歡有口袋的衣服,否則不知道手該放哪裡
5、習慣抱臂
6、習慣冷戰
7、喜歡窗戶,喜歡角落、習慣蜷縮
8、喜歡寫字和閱讀
9、莫名地孤單,無法抗拒的恐懼感
10、不愛說話或很愛說話
11、心事放在心底,有一個自己的世界
12、把笑掛在臉上,幻想自己是有安全感的孩子
13、習慣了沉默,在沉默中爆發或者選擇滅亡
14、習慣了懷疑,卻總是要把人往好處想
15、不相信童話,卻一直期待會有個真正懂得自己保護自己的人出现
16、喜歡懷舊,之後感到深深的寂寞和恐懼
17、不喜歡一個人逛街可又總是一個人逛街
18、一點點事就胡思亂想,想到戲劇般的嚇人
19、喜歡聽慢歌,傷感的歌
20、會很用心地記下生命中出現的每個人
21、習慣暗戀,愛上一個人會全心全意
22、坐在電腦前,不知道做什麼,卻又不想關掉它
23、覺得世界上每一個人都不可靠,但卻還是那樣地選擇相信別人
24、偶爾會有種想消失,或是想一輩子沉睡的想法
25、不喜歡等待,卻總是等待
26、經常不經意的發呆
27、習慣活在過去,喜歡懷舊
28、總會把事情想得很長久
29、不習慣一個人莫名其妙地消失在自己的生命中
30、總是覺得沒有人能把自己放在心裡疼
31、容易滿足,更容易受傷
32、喜歡傷感,甚至頹廢
33、習慣保留自己,因為只有這樣在離開的時候,心才不會痛
34、總有一種,被忽視的感覺
35、看似花心,看似膚淺,其實是在保護自己
36、付出的遠遠超過得到的
37、很固執,不懂得放弃,但一旦放棄了就絕不會回頭
38、總是說著要離開,卻一再為自己找不離開的理由
39、在別人面前笑得很開心,一個人的時候卻很漠落
40、在陌生人面前很安靜,在朋友面前胡鬧
41、玩網游只是為了打發寂寞
42、喜歡下小雨時淋雨
43.、並不是所要的太多的回報,只要一點點就可以讓我們死心塌地,可以很少,但一定要有
44、心情不好的時候,卻喜歡聽悲歌


Thursday, October 14, 2010

they are my love

you might realize 
sometimes people you might not close with
will be the one accompany you at the end
don't get too close to anyone no matter what
i have bunch of friends since secondary school
for sure there will be someone closest with someone
it might last until today
but i can feel the warmness among us 
specially after we all have been separated
for our studies and work
we gather in skype a lot recently
it was the best chatting section ever
making noise together
laughing together
it is really a benefits for me to be flying around
i get to visit any of them who study overseas
even to travel home when i got time
not just to go home
but to catch up with buddies too
skype really help us to gather as well
we are all now in different places
but we gather every night to talk
sharing, laughing, gossiping
we had fun
sometimes i don't believe this friendship could last
but i have confidence now
i believe we could carry this all the way
because we know all our personalities
instead of pin pointing
we will rather to share and improve together
we already gone through the childish century
and we are now growing
yet will be more mature in future
so i believe we all will appreciate 
specially we get to meet only once in a while
it can be a few months, a year or even a few years
so we cherish
cherish the time we spent together
i believe everyone gone through all these
the past has been the past
we are looking towards the future
let's work hard together...ETERNALLY
i miss you all


Tuesday, October 12, 2010

it could be the last

it was untouchable and it is over
thinking it is a good start
at least something simple 
never expected to be something further
it's been shut off without knowing a reason
it wasn't the end
there are normal conversations going on
for once or twice
it ended third the latest
without expectations
let it go as per normal
just let it be the simplest
knowing this would be the dead end
without any turns nor exits
which could be the best
keep it the admiration
with the feel of missing deeper in heart
it's the last time for today
which will never be remind further more
good night to the world
say goodbye to the heart beat
something which only kept in the memories
it was great enough to be store
although it was short 
although it meant nothing at all
thank you 
there is another line to be draw in my heart

Friday, October 08, 2010

if you care

is not about how good you can memorize 
is about how much effort you put on
is about how much you care for
i believe i remember whatever people said to me
in terms of good or bad comments
in terms of about me or even yours
i believe i remember most
because i care

Thursday, October 07, 2010

妥协

人生, 其实很简单
不就是让自己从起跑点奔向终点吗
就像乘搭飞机
买一张机票 选择你想要到达的目的地
只是没人能够预料向往的目的地
会否跟想象的一样而已
一旦选择了乘搭这班机
起飞以后就无法回头
甚至是无法预料的意外
也不会是在我们的控制范围以内
或许我们不应该顾虑得太多
只要努力向目的地狂奔就好了

自小就比较独立的我
一直努力锻炼自己
希望当一个坚强独立的女强人
以为自己买对了机票
乘上了对的航班前往那梦寐以求的地点
却发现方向弄错了
但早已回不了头
或许是因为踏入了安全地带
也感觉我已精疲力尽了
原以为自己可以很坚强
但其实那只是自己给套上了面具
想说这样可以把自己保护的更好一些
事实上却是伤痕累累的
一道又一道越来越深的伤痕
早已无法给遮掩了
不得不妥协
在人们口中那个独立坚强的我
其实我的心是脆弱的
就像那传说里
女人的心像玻璃 一碰就碎
心软虽然容易带来热情
也很容易付出真心
但它更容易受到伤害

多少次天真的以为
只要愿意付出真心
就可以被肯定 被相信
却发现世界太大
现实生活太复杂
人情世故太累人了
原来自己什么都不是
其实我的存在根本就不重要
什么真心 什么努力
根本没有人愿意去感觉
根本没有人愿意去接受
根本就没有人在乎吧
累了 真的累了
不得不承认一个人坚持真的很累
累得无法呼吸
或许会有人好奇的说
既然那么累 那么辛苦
为何还愿意咬紧牙根撑下去
也许没有人了解我那动力的重要性
甚至自己无法想象
哪一天我要是失去了它
我将演变成什么角色
或许也不会又人在乎吧
也许自己顶多是一个微不足道
甚至比显微镜下的纤维细小的小女人而已

Tuesday, October 05, 2010

a word

have you ever think of a word to describe yourself??
i should say i never
but a word is given by others -- CooL
how does it describe me??
something which they can't explain to me as well
i thought this will be shown only when i was in short hair
but not exactly
it's just a word for me since collage i guess
because i used to be in short and cool hair cut
and now i realize it isn't come from the appearance
it was something right inside me 
the way i carry myself
the way i behave
i might think the best elaboration is because im independent
i will do whatever i think is right
just be myself and do not care what others think of me
because this is my life
and i need not to explain what i wanna do
i have no idea what transform me into this
i actually have no idea why they put this on me
no much explanations were given
they can't even think of it when i asked them
so just let it be
let it be the word for me
but trust me that i have a warm heart...lol
i guess this is also a reason why
people always think i wasn't my age
and maybe this is best to describe
where the blue fairy does exist

blue fairy Pictures, Images and Photos

Monday, October 04, 2010

单身不是罪

不要问我为什么单身
这问题根本就没有答案
你要我怎么回答
难道单身有那么奇怪吗
真的搞不懂
如果有人爱 如果有人疼
谁不想要啊
孤单不可怕 寂寞不是毒
我单身也不是错 
请不要再问我奇怪的问题了
我也会累 我也是有感觉的
我也希望累了会有宽大的胸膛可以躺
我也希望难过时会有肩膀让我靠
我也希望每当开心时有人陪我大笑
我也希望饿了有人陪我吃饭
我也希望闷了有人陪我看戏逛街做我爱做的
我也希望生日可以有惊喜
我也希望特别节日不再埋头工作
我也希望某时某刻被谁惦记着
我也希望我的电话因谁而忙碌
我也希望有那么一个第一时间出现在我脑海里的谁
为我担忧 为我操劳 为我分担 
陪我大笑 陪我流泪
单身不是罪 单身也可以过的很开心
单身依然要生活不是吗??
真的有必要每时每刻想着如何结伴吗??
一个不懂得爱自己的人又如何爱人呢??
好好为自己而活 做回自己不就很好吗??
是你的就是属于你的 不属于你的无法强求
缘分要来时 自然就会来了
停留疑惑还不如努力前进
每当太阳升起的时候就会是充满新希望的一天
命运无法掌控 也无法玩弄
一切听天由命 顺其自然吧!!

Photography Pictures, Images and Photos