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我相信简单就是快乐,希望能够寻找属于自己的世界。。。

Monday, October 25, 2010

what i stress on

honestly i know my body so well
more than anybody else
i wasn't born to be fat
i use to be skinny
but im not anymore
all my muscle became fats
and i look like auntie in the mirror
im sure it would be worst in real life
it could be over exercise when i grow up
and i stop for like 2 years??
i got slim down before collage
and i gain when im getting use to collage life
mamak food, un healthy food all the time
the worst started when i broke up with my ex
a friend of mine taught me a way
which is to enjoy eating when upset
i thought it works
and it never turns back ever since then 
i tried so many ways to stop
i was a while i slim down a little
but it will never maintain anymore
and i gain weight after i started flying
most of the reason because
the timing we eat is very unstable
and also our sleeping time
my metabolism wasn't good 
because i use to be very picky on food when i was young
so it was very bad til now
coz it was too late to cure
even though i do my very best to eat healthy food
i tried to exercise but it's only helps to firm up
but it isn't what i want
i need to lose the stuburn fats in me
which i build up when i work out in the past
i have asked the professional before
exercise is a good way to lose weight
but we will never know the fats in our body
the healthy way is to lose the fats and not the weight
the weight is not a sign to tell whether you are fat
instead the BMI is the correct way of calculations
although i am not overweight in that
but i am still far away from my expectation
i wanted to turn back
to be the who i look like when i was 18
before meeting him,...before collage
trust me,...never try to eat to cure sadness
it was the NO NO way
it happens to me
so don't make this happen to you
it's time for me to do something
not just exercise
but more than that
help me if you love me
im so damn damn upset, depress and stress about this
i have lost all my confidence honestly
don't lie to me if you treat me as your friend
we know what are fats
you guys just don't wish to hurt me as a friend
sometimes i do use that to be a joke
because i don't want others to embarrase me
i rather im the one who tell others 
i know about that
i don't need you to tell me
and by heart i care
it hurts,....i do care and mind what others said to me
i did try....but it wouldn't stay
some people just don't understand why i refuse to do exercise
not to refuse
is just truth that we need to lose the fats before we firm 
maybe some lighter exercise would help
maybe a little of cardio would helps
but still i prefer some healthy way 
like to more effort on food
until i feel lighter 
so that to go for heavier exercise for body firming

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