K time ~ wu-hoo

finally got a partner to K with in SG
we really on sia
came back from Milan on tuesday
meet up to have Sarawak laksa and kolo mee
then one rest day at home
didn't really rest for me
went out for drinks which is a simple farewell for Rudi
today came out for K and drinks
and we both have to operate an early morning flight tomorrow
siao ar!!....tiring yet enjoying...hehe
really hard to get accompany for K nowadays
specially in SG
cannot be happy hour myself right??

anyway went to NTUC to buy some food stuff for my dinner
boil barley water and pan fried pratta
lol....gonna share with housemate
finally did something for them...hehe
and meeting Steph on board tomorrow
so will bring her some as well
hehe....wish i could sleep earlier tonight
gotta wake up at 4am le....sienz.........
wish me luck for tomorrow flight
which i will not meet "someone" on board sia
see ya!

all the best ~Rudi

knowing that one of my friend is leaving SIA

it was a short notice given

was surprise that someone is leaving so soon

we suppose to have chance for flying together

once was disrupted

the other one gonna be next month after he is leaving

thanks God that we manage to meet before leaving
sadness when a friend is leaving again

is already so few friends in SG

hate you Rudi....lol

anyway will still wish you all the best

and wish to see you someday in future

God bless!!

is there anything that i can do??

is the end of october
november is coming and follow by december
knowing that my girls are planning to have a 21st birthday party for all
im stuck...i wish i could be there
is gonna be a great gathering for all of us after all
its been a very long time we miss all our gathering
Eternally......since our secondary school
i appreciate any gathering that we could have
ever since im alone in SG
because i would not have a chance to hang out with a big group anymore
specially in SG because all of us are now seperated
AUS, UK, SG, MAS- Ipoh, KL, PJ, Nilai....
everyone of us are doing our own job
we don't even have much time to spent together
i really pray hard that i could have a 2 days off to attend the party
help me please!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

depression period

it wasn't a good feeling after doing something badly
at least it is bad to me
and it may affect any other people who i loves
some old stupid f**king attitude has appeared
ya...that's me but it is a old me i would say
i don't have such feeling such thinking don't know since when
at least i have not seen it for quite a long period
it doesn't judge by myself but also people around me
but it appeared recently without any acknowledgement
this is killing me
and it happens to happen on someone who i care most
which i have no1 to share with
thanks god i have found someone who understand my situation most
we talk about it
i think when you care about someone most
but you may easily hurt them most

i found i may have take things for granted when people treat me well
that is the reason why i said i should not have deserve anything
because it might makes me become worst than ever
i thought i have changed
and the one who i shared with have thought so
but seems like this things happen in between my blind spot
which i couldn't even see it clearly that things is really happening
until it is so bad which makes me so angry about myself
i really hate myself for being someone like that

ya,...someone have said that this is all i see in my world
it sounds like he predicts something and it is happening now
it isn't all but at least he is right that i really care about this stuff
i think i have been relying on my friend too much
specially my very best friend
someone who is more than a best friend *not lesbian ya*
which we couldn't find a word to represent it yet
since the day i am away
when i have nobody to talk to when nobody listen to me
and she is the only one who can understand what am i trying to say
what is really going on in my new life
my miserable and depression period
it seems fine all the while until the time which i didn't notice
my reaction that i'm being so selfish
that i only think about my own feeling
where i have neglected about hers

i always expect people who know me who understand me
know who i really was
which makes me really take thing for granted seriously
because they never ever angry when im over react
and they have been accompany me until where i am today
although all of us came from different background
but this is the way which bring us to be how we were today
because we appreciate things that we learn from each other
we share the experiences we had from different places and background
i should have treat them much better than what am i doing
i really wish that this is the alarm
which can wake me up ever
i really wish to tell you all i love you guys equally
i do care that's the reason why i need to wake up now
i should not have let the devil me to take control
i can be much better as someone does remind me of
thanks for listening and remind me that i am the good one
i wish i will return with the better me
is anyone supporting me out there??
do let me know
your supportive is the power which can push me over this barrier
i do appreciate that..........very much
i believe this is just something that i need to get over with
i'm sure you all out there are always there waiting for me
nothing can change our relationship
because we believe so

a sign on me

something that i wanted to do for so long

finally got the chance to do it

im not really well prepared

i was there with a little of fear but excited

first thing you must have an idea what you want to do

tell the tattoo artist and they will draw it out for you

or you may bring your own design

i have brought my idea my design in my mind

and i just need to tell the tattoo artist my design so he can draw it out for me

with my own little touch up here and there

and here we go....this is my tattoo

firstlly he so called "printed" it on the position where i wanted to tattoo

make sure it is straight and nice in position

and the works start with doing the outline of it

you may see a lot of reddish on my skin

the tattoo artist told me that's because of my skin sensitivity

followed by doing some shadows with the colours that i wanted

the last step is to touch up all the colours

and thats the end of a tattoo

it's a little painful after it's done

because of the position that i choose to do is somewhere with the bone

it only takes 1 and half hour to finish the whole thing

and yet i have got a sign on me now

a naked girl with the butterfly wings

people who knows me will know what it means to me

something which can represent myself

about my stories,....my experiences,..........

people who saw it said it looks sad

but in fact that's just stories inside me,....

added a wings with blue in the end which shows more about my personality

maybe i would say that's what people see from me at the very first impression

blue = cold and cool

yet the wing shows the freedom that i have

it means a lot to me

and thanks to mun yee who helps me to portray what i have been thinking

or else i can't really see what i have portray in my mind

i really like it because i now can see a ME on me....lol