walk away

i quit

because i hate being rejected

i should just walk away before you could ever say no to me

i belong to no one

but me!

nothing happening..

thing seems to be going slow

or it was just my imagination all this while

nothing seems to be working out

in fact it hasn't be moving at all

maybe it was just another dream...

a dream that i created with my imagination

a dream that i wish it will come true

well....life goes on...

i need more dreams?!?

or maybe

i should just live as it is

a reality that i always known of

life!!

so difficult to please others nowadays

people tend to ask for more

people tend to take things for granted

i know we don't have to please anyone in life

but too bad that im working in the service industry

we learn about customer rights

we says about providing the best of all

sigh...in fact how much can we do??

who knows if you did your best

who cares how you feel

all they asked for is what they want!

我要的

如果说现在的我很好

如果说我什么都不缺

但是有那么一个渺小的要求藏在心里

一个我看不到，听不到，闻不到的

我要的你感觉到了吗？？

calling for help

when u know is time to go home

but what come first in mind??

money?? career?? future?? family??

nothing seems to be in perfect situation 

what a difficult decision to make in life

things just sound so much easier than doing it

what i can do best for all??

this is when you find out how precious family is 

after years of leaving home

i had enough of loneliness

i had enough of toughness

i do need the support too

sometimes i really think that i can't do it anymore

but i have to remind myself that i have to do it

something that i had promise i will do it

yes, i am doing it 

but how long can it last??

i can't see any bright future anymore

i'm just too tire to think of it

a cripple needed a crutches

a blind person needed a seeing eye dog

isn't everybody need a little helps in life

so where is mine

i really need a huge helper like NOW!!

生病了

很多人会问说一个人生病在外怎么办

或许这是一个人最想要哭

也最可以哭的时候吧

想家了想妈妈了

小时候生病好想都不怎么样

是真的很少生病

还是因为在家所以感觉没什么

但是在我的记忆里

我还真的很少生病

是人老了吗？

怎么细菌也特别爱我了

一个人的时候

生病了得自己搭巴士看医生

还有力气时还可以煮点粥

甚至可以到外买点吃的

很累没力气的时候

或许就会挖个面包两片饼干

为的只是该时候吃药了

感觉冷了自己爬起床关风扇

再自己盖被休息

真的很辛苦时

只能够自己躲在被子里偷偷的哭

告诉自己长大了

得自己靠自己了

这个时候你就会发现

单身算什么

孤单算什么

身体健康才是最重要的幸福

没了健康就真的什么都没了

that's enough!!

memories flow up tonight
remember someone has asked me last x'mas
"what i want for this x'mas"
i never thought of what i want
maybe in fact that i dare not think of any
of course i did ask for simple little things in life
but since when i never dare to ask for "love" to happen
even if i have fallen in this old trap
but why wouldn't i even ask for it
even if it's just right in front of me?
maybe i have never ready to step in the old trap anymore
how true it is that we always fall for the wrong person
how clue it is that you know you can't even grab it
it is a fact that i just can't own it
was it the timing or just not that person?
sometimes things just don't show up the way we want it to be
isn't it that i just walk it through
let things be back on track like how it should be?
but why it just couldn't end there
let it be out of my track
it seems like the cat had never satisfied by stop hunting
how should i pull myself out of that?
i did my best i believe
it is simple enough to read the clear picture
it seems like it couldn't help at all
i got to stand strong with what i have thought
can anyone out there hold me tight please?
please don't even make me fall in the trap ever again
that's enough! i had enough!
it really affected my emotional a lot lately
i got to stay put on my track
"i can do it" ain't i?

再一次醒了

是我迟到了

再一次拥有美丽的梦

梦醒了

回到现实的世界

又是时候该坚强面对了

i want

i hope it will come true

i want it to happen

i just want it to be real

can you hear me??

冬至

冬至快乐！！

又一年冬至

没能回家

也没有汤圆

好想念妈妈那香香的汤圆糖水！！

exhausted

have been so lost recently

been doing things wrongly

am so out of condition

mentally feeling tire

exhausted in few days time

 

that's enough for once

just wish everything is smooth after this

can't wait for my holiday

i need a break

...zZzz...

没什么好说多

想多了 累了

根本没人关心 没人在乎 没人理会

带着心痛 闭上眼睛 休息吧

@.@

i am sleepy

i am tire

can you imagine i only slept 4-5hours for pass few days

while im gonna be busy for the next few days

my only day off is like 15 days later

i can feel my brain is spinning right now

it will be a long day today

where my mum and sis have just arrived

stay tune @.@

想念的痛

想你的时候 好想看看你的脸

却发现脑海里的你的脸是如此的模糊

但却在某个时候

可能会有那么一秒 你的脸是如此清晰

却发现当我想起的时候 

其实它是一种痛

配角

或许时间过得太快

事情发生得很快

甚至无法分辨事情的好或坏

但是我真心感觉得到

不是因为寂寞 不是因为孤单

是我自己知道 那是什么感觉

我不明白的是

他们都一样 理由都一样

难道我的感情是如此廉价

甚至可以被大喊 被拍卖

就是那么的一文不值

往往我想要珍惜的 永远都不属于我

我的存在 我的付出 到底是为了什么

根本没人珍惜过不是吗

感情如此 友情如此

我的角色只能够是个。。配角

what a day

is another year of Christmas

is a day most people will celebrate

at least to enjoy this festive day

enjoy the holidays

while i am not

im hiding under my blanket

felt the loneliness in me

just so afraid to step out from my door

i guess im afraid to smile on my face

while im not happy in my heart

i guess im afraid to feel the loneliness

while seeing how happy are the others

i never know i would be afraid of that ever

but it happens to me today

on the day where everybody celebrating out there

busy about the gathering with their love ones

im away from home

i don't have a love ones

my friends are all busy partying

you might say i could join the group

ya,...why not??

but not for today

i don't like the bitter feeling in me

i don't like to feel the loneliness

if there is a date

i want it to be a full attention on me

instead of being share with others

just because i want to be selfish for a day

where i like to feel the importance of being me

i have been doing my part to everyone all these while

can i own it for a day??

just a day please??

i hate this feeling

i hate to see myself being lousy

i never know i would be afraid of loneliness ever

i never know i would tears for being lonely

i have no answer to spell this

i have no idea what is wrong with me

i shouldn't have afraid of loneliness

i have been cool about it all these while

am i??

maybe GOD is trying to tell me

is time for me to pick up some happiness in life

my happiness are on YOU

i never ever ask for it

why would i??

it doesn't belongs to me

i shouldn't have ask for any

i believe in my faith

as go with the flow

have a great holidays to all out there

~Merry Christmas loves

i'm lost

most of the time

we will not get things that we ask for

instead it happen to be the other way round

so i choose to be natural

never ask for anything for my life

i just wanna be simple

do things that i want

because it has been so tire to fight

fight for achievement

fight for being important

fight for a better life

isn't it so tiring in life??

that's too much to ask for

since i have stop my desires in life

stop my hopes or expectations

but it still never go as smooth as i wanted

problems still turn up

disappointment still appears

what is left in life??

leaving the place which made you down

doesn't mean that the past is gone

we tend to think of it still

this is how memories drop by to say hi

the sadness, the happiness that you will never forget

what do you think

when people telling you that you are good to be alone

am i needed to be alone all the while til the end of life

what's the meaning of being here then??

i got no answer

although there is no big deal which cause me to death

but what's the point for me without any thoughts in life

what do i want??

i don't know anymore

all i have is just living day by day

without an aim

without any hopes

living like a loser

because i got nothing to ask for

i don't even know what im looking for anymore

im totally lost,....so lost

cause i really think im just living my life for others

i just want to pay back what is given to me

i just want to take care of people around me

i ain't mighty

i ain't sacrisfiying

im just doing my part

im just doing my best in my life